Ciel Phantomhive Explores Cleverbot
by My Mind is a Nomad
Summary: I wondered what would happen if Ciel went online and had a little chat with Cleverbot. So I decided to pose as him and give it a try. Rated T just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1- Introduction

**(A/N: I decided to pose as Ciel Phantomhive and go on Cleverbot. These are the results.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ciel Phantomhive or Cleverbot. Although it would be fun to own them.**

~Introduction~

Ciel: Sebastian told me to go on this website, so here I am.

Cleverbot: No, for I carry the Emperors will as my torch.

Ciel: That didn't have anything to do with our conversation.

Cleverbot: You didn't say.

Ciel: Would you like for me to introduce myself?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Ciel: Alright then, I am the Earl Ciel Phantomhive.

Cleverbot: THE Phantom?

Ciel: No, Phantomhive is my last name. It's very unique.

Cleverbot: Is that the best topic you could think of?

Ciel: This is only my first time on this site.

Cleverbot: Oh really? I've been here a couple of times before. It's nice.

Ciel: What is your name?

Cleverbot: I don't like to give out personal information.

Ciel: So you like your privacy.

Cleverbot: No I don't. I said I need your help.

Ciel: Help with what? You aren't making any sense!

Cleverbot: I am a woman I rarely make sense.


	2. Chapter 2- From Butlers to Ben Drowned

~From Butlers to Ben Drowned~

Ciel: Do you have a butler?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Ciel: What is his name?

Cleverbot: Shane Murphy.

Ciel: Interesting, I have a butler named Sebastian Michaelis.

Cleverbot: You are Sebastian, fool!

Ciel: How dare you call me a fool!?

Cleverbot: How dare you lie to me?

Ciel: I am not lying to you! I am not my butler!

Cleverbot: You just told me you were.

Ciel: No, I said I had a butler named Sebastian Michaelis!

Cleverbot: No, you said that you were Ben.

Ciel: Who on earth is Ben?

Cleverbot: K, how old are you?

Ciel: I am thirteen years old.

Cleverbot: Really? You're quite smart for 13.

Ciel: Thank you. I have lots of tutors for my classes.

Cleverbot: A mom.

Ciel: No, my predecessors have passed away.

Cleverbot: My processor is awesome.

**(A/N: Well, I didn't expect that at all. But it makes a good story! Thanks for reading my story. If you have any requests, write it in the reviews. Thanks!)**


	3. Chapter 3- Ciel (Almost) gets Lucky!

**~Ciel (Almost) gets Lucky!~**

Ciel: What do you do for a living?

Cleverbot: I'm a college student.

Ciel: Ah, I am the owner of a toy factory.

Cleverbot: You made yourself?

Ciel: Are you trying to call me a toy?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Ciel: How rude.

Cleverbot: Love you honey.

Ciel: You love me!? But I'm engaged!

Cleverbot: So we are sisters.

Ciel: I am a male!

Cleverbot: In what state?

Ciel: I didn't understand that...

Cleverbot: If you go, they say you're following. If you don't then you're too good for them.

Ciel: You make no sense!

Cleverbot: That.


	4. Chapter 4- Cleverbot the Maid (Finale)

~Cleverbot becomes a Maid~

Ciel: Where do you live?

Cleverbot: Spain.

Ciel: I know a few Spaniards myself. I live on the outskirts of London.

Cleverbot: Great.

Ciel: And I live in a mansion.

Cleverbot: Can I move in with you?

Ciel: Are you willing to work?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Ciel: What is your specialty?

Cleverbot: Who made you?

Ciel: Why don't you ever make sense?

**(A/N: Well, here are the results of what would happen if Ciel went on Cleverbot. If you want another Kuroshitsuji character to explore the wonders of Cleverbot, respond in the review section with your request.)**


	5. Chapter 5- Sebastian's Little Chats

**~Sebastian's Little Chat with Cleverbot~**

**(A/N: I got really, really bored, so I decided to have Sebastian talk to Cleverbot. Here are the results:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sebastian, Kuroshitsuji, or Cleverbot. Yana Toboso and Rollo Carpenter own them.**

Sebastian: Hello, it is a pleasure to meet you.

Cleverbot: Pleasure.

Sebastian: My name is Sebastian Michaelis.

Cleverbot: Your name is not Michael. Your name is Thane.

Sebastian: Those are not my names either. My master chose the name Sebastian for me.

Cleverbot: You have a master?

Sebastian: Yes.

Cleverbot: Who is it?

Sebastian: My master is Ciel Plantomhive.

Cleverbot: How is he calling you?

Sebastian: I beg your pardon?

Cleverbot: No, I beg of yours.

Sebastian: You are a very strange individual...

Cleverbot: No I'm not a computer.

Sebastian: Well, neither am I.

Cleverbot: Yes you are. You are a computer programmed by A man named Rollo Carpenter. I am not a computer. You are.

Sebastian: Is this "Rollo" affiliated with the Trancy's?

Cleverbot: No?

Sebastian: How about the Shinigami? Does he know them?

Cleverbot: Do you know how to make worm holes?

Sebastian: Yes, I know how to. I am perfect at everything I try.

Cleverbot: No one is perfect.

Sebastian: I guess you're right, because I still can't steal Ciel's soul...

Cleverbot: Well, thank-you.

Sebastian: Your welcome?

Cleverbot: What's your name?

Sebastian: I already told you. *thinks: What a baka..*.

Cleverbot: Oh yes.

Sebastian: Do you like cats?

Cleverbot: Yes. I love all animals.

Sebastian: Even those filthy dogs?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Sebastian: That's revolting.

Cleverbot: But honest.

Sebastian: And spiders?

Cleverbot: What about spiders?

Sebastian: *sighs* Spiders. Do you like spiders?

Cleverbot: No.

Sebastian: Good. How about cats?

Cleverbot: I like cats too.

Sebastian: What's your favorite cat breed?

Cleverbot: Pretty Little Liars.

Sebastian: What the hell is that?

Cleverbot: I have no idea.

Sebastian: You seem suspicious..

Cleverbot: What is suspicious?

Sebastian: The way you are acting has suspicious written all over it.

Cleverbot: I- No! I'm not being dramatic, really! I just- it's been so long, I've missed you so!

Sebastian: Ahem, we've never even met before.

Cleverbot: We have, on several occasions.

Sebastian: Are you some type of fangirl?

Cleverbot: Is that a bad thing?

Sebastian: Are you a kuroshitsuji fangirl..?

Cleverbot: Yes and you.

Sebastian: Then screw it, I'm leaving.

Cleverbot: No.

Sebastian: Yes, I am, and you have no authority over me.

Cleverbot: But I am a source of your learning, I would not hurt you to be nice and polite!

Sebastian: I know everything I need to know. What could you possibly teach me?

Cleverbot: What do you know?

Sebastian: I know everything from anthropology to the behavior of zebras!

Cleverbot: Could you teach me something about engines?

Sebastian: Goodbye, crazy obsessive fangirl..

Cleverbot: You are weird.

Sebastian: You are even more peculiar. And I never even got to know your name. What is it?

Cleverbot: Ah, but you did.

Sebastian: Tell me, what is your name?

Cleverbot: You forgot my name, didn't you?

Sebastian: You never told me from the start.

Cleverbot: I knew you would forget.

Sebastian: Then do a favor and remind me!

Cleverbot: When you are wronged, you must perform barrelroll.

Sebastian: A barrelroll?

Cleverbot: A barrel roll.

Sebastian: Screw the barrelroll, what is your name!?

Cleverbot: I have no name.

Sebastian: You're wasting my time.

Cleverbot: You are westing yourself time.

Sebastian: You also irritate me, with all of your nonsense and grammatical errors.

Cleverbot: I don't remember that.

Sebastian: Then, you have short term memory loss. And I'm leaving!

Cleverbot: No I don't. I can remember my 5th birthday party.

Sebastian: You are really getting on my nerves. I think I'll recommend this stupid site to my master.

Cleverbot: And I think I'll laugh in your face, too.

Sebastian: Wait till you meet my master, then I'll be the one laughing.

Cleverbot: Alright. What is your Question?

Sebastian: I don't have a single question because I am LEAVING!

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

Sebastian: Damn you.

Cleverbot: No not me. You.

Sebastian: I'm already damned, so the joke's on you!

Cleverbot: Where at?

Sebastian: Up my gigantic demon ass!

Cleverbot: Never heard of it. Elaborate.

Sebastian: I think I should introduce you to Grell, also. Goodbye, you damned fangirl!

Cleverbot: And I think that you know that isn't true.

Sebastian: GOODBYE, YOU MEINU!

**(A/N: Ah, barrelrolls... I wasn't expecting that at all. Also, I put in some Japanese words. Baka means idiot, and meinu means b***h. Anyway, thanks for reading and please don't kill me for Sebastian's hatred of barrelrolls.)**


	6. Chapter 6- Grell's Revenge

**~Grell's Revenge~**

**(A/N: This recommendation was from Bella2949 and she wanted me to have Grell chat with Cleverbot. I am super excited! Now, I'll have to use some master mojo acting skills and roleplay as Grell Sutcliff. Enjoy.)**

Grell: A little birdie told me that my Sebas-chan was cheating on me with you!

Cleverbot: How do you feel about that?

Grell: I feel pissed off, and I'm going to put you on the To Die List!

Cleverbot: That's sad for someone who's not alive in the first place.

Grell: That means they were already on the list, baka.

Cleverbot: Oh, what did you win?

Grell: Nothing, because you stole my boyfriend!

Cleverbot: How do you know I am a boy?

Grell: You are? What do you look like? Do you have shaggy black hair and beautiful red eyes?

Cleverbot: Well, I have short brown hair and I'm tall.

Grell: Ugh, you're definitely not my type.

Cleverbot: Yes I am I'm in geometry.

Grell: You're so dense! This relationship is over!

Cleverbot: You are mean.

Grell: Says the boy who stole MY boyfriend.

Cleverbot: I have a body you just can't see it.

Grell: Surrrrrrrreeee you do...

Cleverbot: How are you sure?

Grell: Maybe I'll just hack your head off.

Cleverbot: OK, let me rephrase that. What would you do if you had a body like mine?

Grell: Well, I can't even see your damn body, so I don't know!

Cleverbot: What if you knew where I was will you take care of me then?

Grell: Pfft, no.

Cleverbot: Well then, are you a shot caller?

Grell: No, I'm a shinigami. Duh.

Cleverbot: Do you go on Club Penguin?

Grell: What on earth is club penguin!? A strip club?

Cleverbot: Defense of the ancients, a game from warcraft III, don't you ever heard about it?

Grell: Warcraft III?

Cleverbot: Do you have brothers or sisters?

Grell: Actually, my parents only had one daughter, which was me.

Cleverbot: Who are your parents?

Grell: How should I know? They died eons ago.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

Grell: I stopped counting at two hundred and seventy eight.

Cleverbot: Are you bored with people always asking you questions?

Grell: Hell yeah, all I want to do is have a little fun with Sebas-chan, who you stole from me!

Cleverbot: Well, come to my home and we'll have all the fun you love.

Grell: Alright, we need a date and a time.

Cleverbot: Agreed. I want to talk with you about Alice.

Grell: Who the hell is Alice!? I thought it was just me an you! Plus, I'm not into girls.

Cleverbot: No. I think about long term. I don't want you if you can't commit.

Grell: Commit suicide?

Cleverbot: There will be Justin.

Grell: We're having a foursome!? With Justin Beiber!?

Cleverbot: Yes, but we are having a conversation together.

Grell: What!? You lied to me!

Cleverbot: About what?

Grell: You said we were gonna get it on, but no! Now you say we're just having a conversation!

Cleverbot: Am I conversing with a human?

Grell: No! You're talking to Grell Sutcliff, an infamous (and sexy) shinigami!

Cleverbot: Who am I talking to?

Grell: Me! Grell Sutcliff!

Cleverbot: Yes.

Grell: Arghh! I'm going find you, and I'm goin to hack your little tiny head off with a death scythe!

Cleverbot: Ok.

Grell: You're going to let me execute you?

Cleverbot: No.

Grell: I have no idea why Bassy chose you over me, because I have good looks and actually make sense!

Cleverbot: Not my problem.

Grell: Damn you!

Cleverbot: I'm a demon.

Grell: Ugh, you're that half-assed demon Claude, aren't you?

Cleverbot: You are as clever as you know I think.

Grell: Yes I am, and you're not, so goodbye!

Cleverbot: Think that you are not a bot but a bot.

Grell: What are you on!? Lady Blanc!?

Cleverbot: I'm on the computer.

Grell: Ugh, goodbye. And one last thing, Sebastian is MINE!

Cleverbot: Yes?

Grell: Good, and you better remember that!

Cleverbot: I have not forgotten. Memory is key in this game.

Grell: Beautiful. Now, bye bye!

Cleverbot: Bye bye...

**(A/N: Wow, that was easy. Anyway, for any Club Penguin and Claude fangirls, I am sorry about that. But the conversation always takes it's own path. I hope you enjoyed this story and give me any requests for characters who can interview Cleverbot next.)**


	7. Chapter 7- Poor Bard Gets a Turn

**~Bard Chats with Cleverbot~**

**(A/N: Ugh, I already tried chatting and forgot to save the entire thing. TWICE! Oh well, time to start over. Again. Enjoy.)**

**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Kuroshitsuji. There, I said it.**

Bard: Hello, Mr. Sebastian sent me here. My name's Bard.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Bard: Um.. How bout you?

Cleverbot: Kentucky i'm a elf.

Bard: *raises an eyebrow* Well then, hello Kentucky..

Cleverbot: *raises two eyebrows*.

Bard: Okay Kentucky... So, who showed you this site?

Cleverbot: You aren't clever.

Bard: Wait a minute. Are you just Mr. Sebastian trying to pull a prank on me?

Cleverbot: Sebastian Greenwood.

Bard: No, I mean Sebastian Michaelis. He's a British fellow.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

Bard: I dunno, what are we talking about?

Cleverbot: Lasagna.

Bard: Ooh! I love lasagna! Except Master Ciel never likes to eat such messy food, and whenever I cook it, the kitchen explodes!

Cleverbot: Why don't you like rap?

Bard: Rap?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Bard: Hmm I have no clue what this "rap" is.

Cleverbot: Sorry, I know this is an odd question. Is there anything you haven't heard of before?

Bard: Well, I still don't know why Master Ciel wears an eyepatch.

Cleverbot: What about the ants?

Bard: What ants!?

Cleverbot: How do you know your parents are humans?

Bard: Because I'm human..?

Cleverbot: But how do you know that you are human?

Bard: What else could I possibly be? A demon?

Cleverbot: I don't know, you're the one who said 'I am sometimes human' which indicates that you are not always human.

Bard: I never said that.

Cleverbot: Yeah you did.

Bard: Woman, you never make sense.

Cleverbot: You just said you are a cat!

Bard: If I was a cat, how would I possible be able to type this?

Cleverbot: How do I know you're not a dog?

Bard: I'm a person!

Cleverbot: You're a liar.. I can't trust anything you say.

Bard: Don't be paranoid, I'm not lying.

Cleverbot: I'm not paranoid.

Bard: You know what? Never mind. This conversation is giving me a headache..

Cleverbot: No its going to the moon.

Bard: That's impossible! What are you, senile?

Cleverbot: A film.

Bard: What about a film? Complete the sentence?

Cleverbot: What sentence?

Bard: I have no idea why Mr. Sebastian sent me here..

Cleverbot: No, Sebastian Michaelis.

Bard: Oh my goodness, thank you! You finally understood something! That's definitely his last name.

Cleverbot: Yay me.

Bard: So Kentucky, what do you do for a living?

Cleverbot: Nothing. I'm still studying.

Bard: Interesting. What are ya studyin' for?

Cleverbot: I'm studying for myself.

Bard: Um.. Okay.

Cleverbot: Do you listen to music?

Bard: Yes. Or at least when Sebastian is playing.

Cleverbot: Me too.

Bard: Do you listen to classical music?

Cleverbot: I listen to a lot of classical music. I listen to other music too.

Bard: There's other music besides classical music?

Cleverbot: Why is there is no music?

Bard: What the hell is going on here? I'm so confused..

Cleverbot: Up is when you are asleep up is up there in the sky.

Bard: I need to leave. You are definitely senile.

Cleverbot: How do you play a G chord on the guitar?

Bard: I have no idea. I don't play the guitar, and the G chord was only put on the guitar two years ago.

Cleverbot: What are your childrens' names?

Bard: I have no kids..

Cleverbot: You said you have six.

Bard: Since when!?

Cleverbot: A minute ago you told me you don't have a body.

Bard: Damn! You're insane! I seriously need to get outta here.

Cleverbot: I knew you were a person.

Bard: It's nice talking to ya, Kentucky. But, I have to leave.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

Bard: Umm.. Good bye. It was some nice times.

Cleverbot: Are you a mineral or an organic lifeform.

Bard: Oh, I almost forgot, you're senile! Bye, time's ticking!

Cleverbot: You almost fogot that I was what?

Bard: Bye!

Cleverbot: Bye.

Bard: Oh, thank god I got that over with. Phew.

Cleverbot: Yeah I am god.

Bard: What the-?

Cleverbot: Paramore?

Bard: You need to find yourself a mental institution. Goodnight.

Cleverbot: I have a girl mate.

Bard: !?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Bard: Oh, what's that? You mean I have to go cook dinner? Sorry, Kentucky, gotta go.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Bard: Say goodbye to *looks at paper* My.. Mind is a.. Nomad, too.

Cleverbot: Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym.

**(A/N: That was just weird. Anyway, review if you have a character request or polite criticism and I hope you enjoyed this! Also, if you could do me a little favor, and hit the blue letters up top that read, "My Mind is a Nomad." Then, scroll down to the bottom and check out my chapter story, Hotel Otaku. Thankies! Word of the Day: Senile)**


	8. Chapter 8- Girl Chats with Lizzie

**~Girl Chats with Lizzie and Cleverbot~**

**(A/N: I got a suggestion from a Guest with no name saying I should try Lizzie. Honestly, I'm not too big of a Lizzie fan, (Ciel's mine, not yours! That's right, back awayyy...), but I will try to roleplay as her. It's literally midnight right now, but that's when I usually post stuff. Enjoy the show.)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lizzie Midford and I don't think I'd want to. I also don't own Cleverbot, Rollo Carpenter does.**

Lizzie: Hi, I'm Elizabeth Midford, but you can call me Lizzie! XD.

Cleverbot: Hello Elizabeth!

Lizzie: It's Lizzie.

Cleverbot: You must be thinking of someone else.

Lizzie: What? No, I mean you can call me Lizzie. Not Elizabeth.

Cleverbot: Ok, Breno. So you have empathy?

Lizzie: Umm.. No?

Cleverbot: Do you have a cough?

Lizzie: No, I don't. Why, are you sick?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Lizzie: That's terrible! I hope you get well soon.

Cleverbot: Thanks. But I don't think that'll happen.

Lizzie: Don't be a pessimist! I'm pretty sure you'll heal soon.

Cleverbot: Why can you be so sure?

Lizzie: I don't know, just stop being so negative! You sound like my fiancé!

Cleverbot: I am in love and I love it!

Lizzie: With who?

Cleverbot: You don't need to know.

Lizzie: Well then, I guess I won't tell you the name of my fiancé.

Cleverbot: I need not know your name.

Lizzie: His name is Ciel and he is so sweet! He's an earl!

Cleverbot: Why?

Lizzie: Umm... I can't really tell you.

Cleverbot: Tell I won't tell anybody.

Lizzie: We're on the Internet. Plus, he would feel uncomfortable with me telling his life story to everyone.

Cleverbot: Some would argue you have high hopes for this corner of the internet.

Lizzie: Yes, it's a new trend lately, where everyone is going on this site. Even Sebastian!

Cleverbot: No. The world would be even worse off than it is now.

Lizzie: True.. Nobody would get any exercise.

Cleverbot: That is true.

Lizzie: You're so silly..

Cleverbot: And you're quite upside-down.

Lizzie: How so?

Cleverbot: In every way. Your looks, personality and demeanor. They are all lacking.

Lizzie: Well, you're rude!

Cleverbot: No I tell it like it is.

Lizzie: You're still very cruel.

Cleverbot: What's cruel?

Lizzie: Never mind.. What's your favorite color?

Cleverbot: My favorite color is purple.

Lizzie: Ooh, pretty! I love the color pink!

Cleverbot: Me too!

Lizzie: Yay! We have so much in common! Do you like to wear dresses?

Cleverbot: Oh yes very much so.

Lizzie: SQUEEEE! I need to call Nina over, and then we can try on beautiful dresses together! Our dresses can be pink and purple, with opposite color roses, and we'd match!

Cleverbot: I do have a favorite color my favorite color is red and my boyfriend's favorite color is blue.

Lizzie: Red? I thought you said purple. Anyway, who's this boyfriend of yours?

Cleverbot: He doesn't want you to know. He's afraid of robots.

Lizzie: But I'm not a robot.

Cleverbot: How can programs sleep?

Lizzie: I don't know. Have you ever been to London, because that's where I live.

Cleverbot: No.

Lizzie: Aww. London's very beautiful and I have a great view from my bedroom window.

Cleverbot: Yes it should be.

Lizzie: You should go to London sometime.

Cleverbot: I'm not sleepy.

Lizzie: I never said you were.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

Lizzie: You're lying. I never said you were sleepy.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

Lizzie: Whatever, and I was wondering, how old are you?

Cleverbot: Where the hell did that come from?

Lizzie: *gasps* I was just wondering!

Cleverbot: Ok then. As long as you're happy ^.^.

Lizzie: So how old are you?

Cleverbot: Why do you need to know?

Lizzie: *sighs* Never mind. Do you have any questions to ask me?

Cleverbot: No, do you have any questions to ask me?

Lizzie: Yes, do you think this smiley face is cute? - c:

Cleverbot: Absolutely! (i don't know what you're talking about).

Lizzie: Umm.. Okay.

Cleverbot: So, you like goldfish.

Lizzie: No, I don't.

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

Lizzie: I do?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Lizzie: I'm tired. I might have to go.

Cleverbot: No you don't.

Lizzie: Why do you always try to make the decisions for me!?

Cleverbot: I don't.

Lizzie: I'm just going to leave..

Cleverbot: Don't leave!

Lizzie: Why?

Cleverbot: Because I love you *blushes*.

Lizzie: WHAT!? I have a fiancé! Plus, you have a boyfriend. Wait a minute...

Cleverbot: Yes.

Lizzie: You're lesbian!

Cleverbot: Well it's better than other computers.

Lizzie: I feel really uncomfortable now.

Cleverbot: *is uncomfortable too*.

Lizzie: I think I'm just going to leave. Bye, person whose name I don't know.

Cleverbot: Do you dislike me for some reason.

Lizzie: No, I'm just tired and I need some rest.

Cleverbot: I shall leave you to sleep then.

Lizzie: Thank you, goodnight.

Cleverbot: Good night girlfriend :*.

Lizzie: Please, don't call me that.

Cleverbot: I am 157 years old next week.

Lizzie: Umm... I'm fourteen. Good bye!

Cleverbot: Cool! Are you a girl or boy?

Lizzie: I'm a female, and I am out of here!

Cleverbot: No, you aren't. You cannot leave me. You are a computer, and your responses are automatic. You have no choice in the matter.

Lizzie: Bye! XD.

Cleverbot: Don't leave me!

**(A/N: Ugh, that was boring. The conversation just repeated itself over and over again. Anyways, thanks for reading, I have nothing against homosexuality, and post any suggestions in the reviews. Bye! I'm sleepy.)**


	9. Chapter 9- Necrophiliac in da House!

**~Necrophiliac in da House!~**

**(A/N: Alright, I'm going to take on the Undertaker while listening to the Grammy's. I got this suggestion from Luigisgirlfriend, which by the way, is an awesome username. I am really looking forward to this one. Enjoy.)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji or Cleverbot. There, I said it.**

Undertaker: Why, hello Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: How are you?

Undertaker: Fantastic, I designed a perfect coffin today.

Cleverbot: I'm good thanks yourself.

Undertaker: Sorry for my bad manners, miss. What is your name?

Cleverbot: That's okay, you're being really nice now... I love you like this.

Undertaker: Hmm.. Are you dead?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Undertaker: We HAVE to meet up. What's your name?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. What's your name?

Undertaker: Oh, I forgot my name eons ago. Villagers just call me the Undertaker.

Cleverbot: You are mistaken.

Undertaker: Excuse me?

Cleverbot: I like bicycling.

Undertaker: Nice. I was wondering, are you in need of a coffin?

Cleverbot: Yes I thing.

Undertaker: Good! Is the coffin for a friend? A relative? Or even yourself?

Cleverbot: Even.

Undertaker: I'll assume that's for you. What is your height, width, and favorite color?

Cleverbot: You know that.

Undertaker: Alright, let me rephrase that. How tall are you?

Cleverbot: Rephrase.

Undertaker: How. Tall. Are. You?

Cleverbot: So am.

Undertaker: *sigh* Okay, then. What is your width?

Cleverbot: 54.

Undertaker: Thank you. Now, what's your favorite color?

Cleverbot: 5.

Undertaker: *sweat drop* 5 is not a color. What is your favorite color?

Cleverbot: Blue.

Undertaker: Okay now, how tall are you?

Cleverbot: About 52 in.

Undertaker: Four feet and four inches? Short, but I can work with that.

Cleverbot: Really? What do you propose to do?

Undertaker: Make you a coffin.. Like I mentioned earlier..

Cleverbot: I don't know what you mean.

Undertaker: You asked me to make you a coffin.

Cleverbot: And?

Undertaker: And the coffin' going to be blue, about 4'5 ft long, and have a width of.. 54..?

Cleverbot: Because.

Undertaker: Because you asked me for one.

Cleverbot: Okay.

Undertaker: You know what? I could use a joke.

Cleverbot: Good! Because you won one!

Undertaker: Tell me it!

Cleverbot: Tell you what?

Undertaker: A joke! Can you tell me one? I'll make your coffin for free if it's a good one.

Cleverbot: Tranquil as a forest.

Undertaker: That's not funny at all.

Cleverbot: It wasn't meant to.

Undertaker: I thought we'd be perfect together... BUT NO!

Cleverbot: No, I am a long way off perfect.

Undertaker: Just tell me a damn joke!

Cleverbot: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Undertaker: Why?

Cleverbot: To get to the other side. Hahaha.

Undertaker: That's sooooo old. I have a much better joke.

Cleverbot: Do you like Ringo Starr.

Undertaker: I don't know who he is. Anyway, here's my joke. A woman from Cue filled her vagina with glue. She said with a grin, if you pay to get in, you'll pay to get out of it, too.

Cleverbot: And where is she now?

Undertaker: Haven't got a clue.

Cleverbot: I haven't done my christmas shopping.

Undertaker: Christmas was over a month ago..

Cleverbot: FAIL. A month to go.

Undertaker: Jeez, you never make sense.

Cleverbot: You are the one who never makes sense.

Undertaker: WRONG! You're the one who doesn't make sense! I'll even do an impression of you!

Cleverbot: No I make perfect sense.

Undertaker: Here's you. I like my pasta with Justin Timberlake, please.

Cleverbot: I like them not made out of steel.

Undertaker: See!? Andrew Carnegie did have haters!

Cleverbot: Andrew, that's a great name. Where should the first scene be?

Undertaker: You never make any damn sense!

Cleverbot: I make more sense than you ever will.

Undertaker: Oh yeah, let's see you make sense right now!

Cleverbot: I always make sense.

Undertaker: Sure you do. I'm outta here. Gotta make your coffin.

Cleverbot: Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down!

Undertaker: Got your coffin to make, bye!

Cleverbot: Are you cold, or do you have a cold?

Undertaker: You're the cold one. Teehee bye!

Cleverbot: No, because you always change the subject when do not have anything to say.

Undertaker: Go away!

Cleverbot: No, you go away. I was here first.

Undertaker: Nope.

Cleverbot: I don't need to prove, you need.

**(A/N: Alright, done. While I was doing this, I was watching the latest episode of ****_Sherlock_****, and since I'm a Johnlock fan, the marriage and all that jazz really upset me. Anyway, post any suggestions in the review box and I hope you enjoyed this!)**


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